Do Friends Determine Our Destiny?

Hani JajehThe company we choose to associate with is often determined by our interests and various similarities. We tend to surround ourselves with like minded individuals who can share in the same hobbies, enjoy the same foods, talk about the same movies, play the same video games, have similar intellectual pursuits and, engage in philosophical exchanges. These characteristics usually form a certain base for our peer group, but has this group determined our interests or have we moulded them in ways that mesh with our own?

The common adage “birds of a feather flock together” holds within it, profound truths. Yes, we may enjoy being in the presence of peers with similar views, but these views can have the power to uplift us, to experience new levels of excellence which were only once thoughts, or they can limit us to a confined way of seeing and viewing life, by means of a shared “pain body”.

It’s not hard to think of that one person or few in our group, who we always seek for guidance, wisdom and encouragement. It becomes instinctual, we simply call them when we find our own understanding is not sufficient to aid us at a critical moment. They often have some mysterious power that can turn an unfulfilled day, into one of excitement, relief and happiness. They act as a physical manifestation of our inner voice and help us challenge restrictive thought patterns, to form prosperous belief systems.

When uncertain about a new opportunity for career advancement, we rely on their judgement. When on the fence about a particular romantic interest, we seek their relationship guidance. When unsure of our wording, we ask them for their poetic flare. When we are kept awake at night by out of control thoughts, we call them to quiet the storm. When unhappy with our current station in society, we seek them for a new path to fulfillment. They are our overseers, our angels on Earth, our sages, our mentors, our inspiration and most importantly, our friends. They elevate us to higher levels of attainment, but don’t all friends do this? No.

The inverse “friendly” relationship is not as readily seen. These are the ones who take us only in circles, the ones who confirm our lowest of suspicions, the ones who remind us that things are too good to be true, the ones who find a problem to every solution, the ones with low drive, the complainers, the doubters, the disbelievers, the ones who do not walk on faith street. These are the “friends” that only want what’s best for us, yet their rationale limits us from growing or overcoming challenging obstacles placed before us.

They encourage us to be submissive and fuel displeasing feelings. When we want to enjoy an experience at a new restaurant, they tell us the food is lousy. When we want to travel to new lands, they tell us it’s too expensive. When we want to go on a date with a special someone, they tell us to keep our guard up. When we want to study in a new field, they tell us school is a waste of time, when we have a new idea, they tell us it won’t work. When we want to change our personal style, they tell us it won’t suit us. When we want more out of our lives, they tell us about all the people who have tried and failed.

These friends would much rather complain to us, so that we can put them at ease, so that they no longer rely on their own power. These are the ones who seek advice from us and then do the opposite. These are our testers, our tethers of limitation, our inner disbelief made manifest, and most importantly, they are our friends by choice.

We always have the choice to constantly walk in endless circles of non-fulfillment. We also have the choice to continuously elevate our station in life and bring others along with us. We can constantly do the same thing, with the same people, and produce the same results for better or worse. However, doing something derived from discipline, leading to prosperity is the inverse of doing something derived from poor habits, leading to scarcity. Our choice of the process determines our choice of the result ahead of time.

What about You, the reader, the individual, where is your place in this collaboration? Are you simply a victim of your inner circle or are you the one written about? Your role in your circle of friends is also of great importance! If you are seen as a leader or a person of influence, your own power has to be taken into consideration and viewed critically.
Are you limiting the potential of your friends because you constantly challenge their loving energy, are you the one who wants them to do the heavy lifting while you remain passive, are you constantly pulling your friends up the mountain they complain about climbing, are you the one who provides them with nourishment to grow yet starve yourself?

We must analyze our group and our role in it, to identify the tools needed for our enrichment, to finally synthesize our system of success.

Will you decide to finally take flight or are you satisfied with crawling?

Don’t hang with chickens and expect to soar with eagles.
– Joel Osteen


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